Diamonds Shining in Congo!

For months I prayed for this trip to Congo. I asked the Lord for a vision for His people. His eyes to see, His heart to feel. I have said it before, be careful what you ask the Lord to break your heart for because He is faithful to provide.

My vision included a large lump of coal in a masculine hand. The other hand sharply brought down a chisel, striking the coal at an angle. Pieces of the hard substance would fall away and I could see words impressed upon each fragment of darkness. Words like Shame, Torment, Guilt, Pain, Ugly, Castaway, Useless, Unworthy, Dirty, Disgusting, Sadness, Agony, and Despair. 

*Please, don't simply read that sentence. They aren't just words. Each is very raw, very real. They are feelings. Reread that. Allow it to penetrate your heart. Sometimes we all carry a piece of that darkness. We allow it to become apart of us. We claim it. We defend it.* 

  

As the hand chipped away all of the coal, not a black spec was left! 

The only thing remaining was an enormous diamond. The diamond seemed to spin in his hand. As it spun, it became a prism of dancing lights.

I prayed on this vision for a few days when it was revealed to me. The hand was that of our Father’s. The coal was the people of Congo. The Lord was chipping away at the devastation and hurts they have experienced. The light that made the diamond create a prism was that of God. He was cleansing His people so that they may shine not just for themselves, but also for others they encounter. 

He was showing me a His heart, which in turn became my own.

The vision was not alone. It came with one of those “God Whispers.” You know, over and over and over you get the same message. Psalm 34:5 all but hit me over the head for weeks. Finally I understood. 

As I spoke to the people of Congo, I told them my vision and followed it with “Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.”

God is good. God is good.

Even among desolation and heartache. Even in the hearts of the women who have been brutally attacked, gang raped (so horrifically they needed reconstructive surgery) and cut open with machetes. Even the children who are malnourished and thirsty. Even the men who so desperately want to work to provide food for their homes and school fees for their children but only make pennies a day, if anything at all. They all proclaim the name of Jesus Christ. They all will tell you, God IS Good! In a crowd, if you say “Hallelujah,” you will quickly get back “Amen!” 

We could learn from the Congolese church. We should learn from the Congolese church. Their God is not one they simply visit on Sunday mornings. He is the God with whom they take refuge. He is not the God who causes pain. He is the God who restores. Not just the One they call on when things get rough and ignore when things are right. But the God who protects, heals, defends, and calls them His! 

Coming home I believe maybe that vision is also for the Church here! Allow the Lord of all of Creation chip away the blackness and reveal the diamond in you. May we as the Church (not a church but THE BRIDE of Christ!), rise up and SHINE together for our mighty God!

Don't turn your face and hide! Stand and proclaim with boldness the One who reigns.

Sifu Mungu, Hallelujah!

(Praise God, Hallelujah!)

Using Caution

Cautiously ask the Lord to break your heart for 

what breaks His...because He will!

Digging up sweet potatoes in our garden I was so burdened by the children in Congo. My heart hurts! Tears are shed often for them! We live in the land of plenty. Actually, we live in the land of disgusting excess! 

Luke 12:48 says, "Much is required from those to whom much is given, for their responsibility is greater." 

(Living Bible)

But what does this mean? So many in our society are considered low income and in a poverty stricken state. Millions are homeless! Who determines who has been given a lot and who has a little? Neighbors? The Government? You?

In thinking on this I am reminded of the poor widow who gave all she had and the rich who gave out of their wealth. Who gave more, the woman who gave two pennies or those who gave hundreds of dollars? Jesus called his disciples over and said, “The truth is that this poor widow gave more to the collection than all the others put together. All the others gave what they’ll never miss; she gave extravagantly what she couldn't afford—she gave her all.” (The Message)

This verse says that this woman trusted she would be provided for. It also is saying despite what you have or have not been given, you are expected to contribute. (Not only have I heard the excuse but I have made it, "I don't have enough to live on myself! I have nothing to give.") In giving out of little or giving a lot, you are trusting that the Lord your God will provide for your every need! 

Trusting fully in Christ is one thing I have learned while my husband was away in Congo and Nigeria. Especially Nigeria. Not only was he out of work for those weeks, which obviously means zero income for our household, but he was in a foreign land where Muslims sought out Christians to kill and had no form of communication home. Being unable to talk to him, just as a reassurance he was okay, was difficult and required the kind of trust in the Lord that I had not fully known...until now. 

As a Christian, would Jesus be pleased with your heart? Do you give what you would not miss? We hold on tight because we do not want to be without! We are scared of growing old without a retirement plan, two cars and a vacation home. 

Where is your trust? Is it in that phone call from your significant other (as it was with me)? Is it in a strong portfolio? How about in your children? Your parents? Your job? Your bank account? Where is your trust, really?

These things are not bad! However, they can become bad when we rely fully on them to provide for our needs, rather than turning to Christ to take that position.

Out of our personal excess (comparatively speaking), I feel we are called to give! In my families world that means giving time, energy, prayers, love, money and clothing to those in desperate need! 

Those dear, sweet children in the Congo have not known what it is like to have plenty. But they know what it is like to trust. We could learn from them. Looking solely to the Father to provide. 

Seek first the Kingdom of God. Not the kingdom of plenty. 

Trusting in the unseen is never easy...but when you open up your heart to believe Jesus will provide, He will protect, He will keep His promises - He IS who He claimed to be, you let yourself off the hook of trying to control every situation and you allow the Holy Spirit to MOVE! 


I implore you, Get out of the way, Give it to Him. He knows what to do, He can handle it and in return, you will have a relationship with your heavenly Father that is immeasurable!

He continues to provide because we believe He will!

Lesson Learned!

 

"Look at the birds of the air. They don’t plant or gather crops. They don’t put away crops in storerooms. But your Father who is in heaven feeds them. Aren't you worth much more than they are?"

Matthew 6:26

God is Bigger

When Satan (and maybe a few individuals) told us that a 

clothing ministry was impossible, we told him/them 

God was bigger. 

When doubt entered our minds about getting clothing to 

these children, we told those doubts 

God was bigger. 

When our world was flooded with confusion, expenses and 

needs, we told those things 

God was bigger.

 When we would hear whispers that we were nobodies and 

were unable to start a ministry such as this, 

we laughed and said,

You are right! But our God is bigger! 

God is seeing Ovadia Ministries through. 

This is not our doing but the work fully of the Lord Jesus! 

To Him be all the Glory, Honor and Praise! 

One of the 3 bags packed full of shoes/clothes  

               

Beautiful little girl holding her brother

                                       

 Sweet little face

On the Hunt!

God has an agenda. 


When God considers a task, He searches for a friend of the kingdom to join 

the fight. Who is willing? Who will be His ally on the ground? Who is up for a 

great adventure? If we decline, He’ll knock on the next door. 


“You are somebody’s answer. You are something’s answer. There is a

problem out there only your presence can solve. There is a broken and 

wounded heart to which only you can administer healing. You are a voice 

to the mute. You are beauty  amid desolation. You are not a victim; you 

are an answer. Imagine the power in this change of perspective.”


When I read that…I went “WOW”!!! That is such a powerful realization, ya’ 

know? I found it flattering to know that God TRUSTS me not to screw up 

someone’s life – this person or people he has chosen for me - with my words 

or actions, but rather BLESS them, heal them, or make them feel the love they 

have never felt, that can only be by and through HIM! It made me excited…

almost like a “TREASURE HUNT”!

A little history...AFRICA...and the birth of Ovadia Ministries

This year, I may have an exciting adventure. I have poured out my heart to God through prayer, song and tears. Asking for His blessing for me to set foot on African soil. This very well may come to fruition. If not this year, then soon!

It is no secret our faithful God has laid on my heart the needs of the children of Africa. There was a time when I was specific about a location. In my own arrogance I TOLD the Lord where I was going and where I was NOT! I made it very clear to Him (and everyone who would listen to me babble on about it) what I would do and would not do.

Many many years ago I thought I would go into the medical field. I though with my medical training I would be able to better serve the children of Africa who have contracted HIV/AIDS. I went through a trade school, which was unaccredited at the time - stupid me - and graduated on Dean's List as a Medical Assistant. 

A few years ago I thought the Lord was taking me to Africa to love on the children, to just lend a helping hand. Then I was thinking maybe sign language was the way I wanted to go. I went through several classes, to the point where I was able to take the state exam to become 'ASL certified' to be an interpreter for the deaf or hard of hearing. The desire wasn't strong enough to pursue fully.

As I sat at a desk working for a nonprofit organization, reviewing nonprofit organizations, I started to wonder 'Is this job just a stepping stone for me? What am I supposed to be learning while doing all this tediousness?' Prayers went up as I was deciding Christ's direction for my life. In all honesty, prayers continue to go up for direction.

After working for the same office for over four years, I prayerfully decided to stay home with our newborn daughter. I knew this meant being poor, very poor. I knew this meant cutting back on anything that was a want. But I also knew that I had faith that the Lord would be our provider. In this time, I put my full trust in Him.

In no way am I suggesting it was easy or that, in the beginning disconnect notices didn't flow in or rent was a month late, making it two months due or that we didn't know where the next meal would come from. There were a few times I cried out to God 'WHY?' However, in all of it, I still strongly felt I was meant to be home with our children. Every time I'd cry out, the Lord provided. None of the utilities were cut off, we didn't get evicted, random checks would show up in the mail and loving people (sometimes strangers) would deliver meals. All of this without us asking or telling anyone what we needed! Who can't see God in that?

The year 2012 was a pretty big year for my husband and I. He has fully surrendered his life to Christ's call and has stepped up to lead a new youth group. His testimony has brought many to want to know more about the God we serve. He was sponsored for the Walk to Emmaus and was forever changed! He has been a blessing to me in more ways than he will ever know. He is becoming the warrior Jesus wants him to be!

I was extremely blessed to lead a ladies bible study about dancing with Jesus. And OH, How I Did Dance in His arms! In this study I learned that my God fights for me, He is my defender! He is my fortress, my refuge! The Walk to Emmaus was an experience I pray I never forget! I grew so much spiritually this year.

The Lord has paired us together for a reason! And man am I glad He did!!

Fast forward into the new year - 2013. 

A dozen months have gone by where I have prayed, and have had my husband pray about sending clothes to the orphans in Africa. How do you do that? How can we afford to do that even if we figure out HOW to do that? I need connections - Lord, please send me connections! And why clothes? Why not funds? That's so much easier, less complicated. But with God, nothing is complicated!! Through Him all things are possible.

Doors opened...prayers are answered...donations are welcome and needed (any for infants up to 15 years)...and a plan is being established. We are in deep prayer about starting the nonprofit organization to meet the needs of the orphaned in Africa. Today the clothes will go to several villages in the Congo (the place I TOLD the Lord I was NOT going)! Tomorrow it may be Sudan or Uganda (the place I TOLD Him I WAS going). I dare NOT tell the Lord where or what I will be doing, instead I say 'Lead the way!'

Right now I am simply being obedient to the call; I am praying a lot...and I am learning to stop and LISTEN to His response.

Yesterday, He spoke to me! Well, not audibly but by His Word. Through days of prayer, actually begging for His voice, His presence, His vision through starting Ovadia Ministries, I heard Him loud and clear. Through a tender kiss from my daughter's baby doll as she sat beside me while I prayed, I felt Him say "I'm with you and you are My Princess." When I opened my Bible, immediately I was open to Proverbs 16. I cried. The Lord DOES speak! We just have to open our hearts to listen!

Proverbs 16:3

Commit your work to the Lord,

and your plans will be established.

Meaning behind the name Ovadia Ministries:

Ovadia is Hebrew and means "Worker of the Lord" or "God's Servant"

(The mission statement for Ovadia Ministries is being derived.)

True Christianity is this...

Lately I have been convicted of how I treat people. In this, I am learning that everyone needs LOVE, right where they are. Without judgement! Isn't that what Jesus did? Didn't He go to the sick, to the lame, to the blind, to the woman at well, to the sinner - didn't He see all their needs immediately? Didn't He give them hope, right where they were? Through rolling peppers, didn't Jesus meet my husband right where he was in Wal-Mart produce isle? Didn't Jesus come for me, right where I was? Right there with a hangover, right there dancing the night away in a club, right there in my brokenness, my anger, my hurt, my rage -- right there when I had my back to Him? 

We are all sinners - Jesus came for us. Jesus came for ME, for YOU, for US!

He came to me...all I had to do was turn around. Turn around to face Him. In doing so, I turned my back to the sin. I cannot continue walking forward in Christ if my eyes are focused on the rear view mirror.

I can totally relate to Paul in so many ways. One of the most profound of statements made by him in the New Testament comes from his letter to Timothy. 

"I am grateful to Christ Jesus our Lord, who has strengthened me, because He judged me faithful and appointed me to His service, even though I was formerly a blasphemer, a persecutor, and a [wo]man of violence. Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners---of whom I am the worst."

Paul goes on to say, "But for that very reason I received mercy, so that in me, as the worst of sinners, Jesus Christ might display the utmost patience, making me an example to those who would come to believe in Him for eternal life." 1 Timothy 1:12-13, 15-16

In my conviction, I prayed to receive the full mind of Christ. Not just to know His Word but to wear HIS mind - to think the way He does and to act the way He does. Luckily we don't have to guess how to do this. We have explicit instruction in Philippians. Imitating Christ's humility takes action from us. In order for me to move forward in Him, I so desperately needed to remove all the impurities. For months, I had been praying Psalm 139, "Search me, O Lord, and know my heart,". 

In my personal life, I discovered there was an area of un-forgiveness that needed to be addressed and it needed immediate attention! I won't say with whom or the exact situation but I will say that after MUCH prayer, I moved forward, the Holy Spirit took over, I was able to witness to this unbeliever and healing began. I felt free from a huge dark weight that I had been dragging behind me for years. Philippians 2:3 was my encouragement. It was how I was able to humble myself...because I was COMMANDED to do so! So, out of "humility [I] regard others as better than [my]self." That's HARD! Think about it. How arrogant are you? Do you look at someone and think that by chance you have a better life? They clean your hotel room with a smile, you can't imagine where that smile comes from because they are cleaning YOUR room. That maybe you are more spiritual because you sing louder, raise your hands, pray more in public. Maybe the Lord has shown you more favor because you give more in the offering plate than the unwed-single-mom next to you in the pew. Maybe during a social gathering you walk with your head held high because you are wearing exactly what everyone else isn't. Or maybe it's purely internal. You don't behave with outward arrogance. Maybe in your mind you judge according to a person's past life, current situation or even what church they do (or do not) attend.   

When you and I humble ourselves and begin to look at one another as being better than ourselves, things change! You change! I have changed! The world can change!

Jesus was GOD and He came to meet YOU, ME, the Gentiles, the Jews, the Samaritans, the WORLD right here, where we are! In our brokenness, in our distress, in our joy, in our sufferings, in our sin, in our shame, in our depression, in our darkness. He "emptied Himself, taking the form of a slave, being born in human likeness, and being found in human form, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death---even death on a cross." Philippians 2:7-8

I know that the Lord has a calling on my life. I have a passion that burns deep for Africa. I understand (as it continues to be revealed) that one day, I will serve as His hands and His feet in this beautiful land. I am growing in Spirit and in His truth every day. I pray you are too. From the depths of my soul I never want to grow stagnate in my faith. I want to rejoice, even in my sufferings "because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." Romans 5:3-5

Most of all, I want to insure that I always have on Jesus' brain, His mind, His likeness. I want to be just like Him in all my ways. I want to cast my crowns at His thrown, bow down and simply worship. Commending my life to His hands. I vow to look up when I'm feeling down, to remember the sacrifice that was made for a sinner like me and to condone the person, condemn the sin and not the other way around! Because I am absolutely no better than you, my sister or brother!

RAW Spiritual Warfare!

Last Saturday evening, as I prepared dinner for my family, I began to have an excruciating pain in my lower neck and right shoulder. Eventually, I could not move my neck or upper body. Sunday morning was spent at the family physician’s office instead of at church. My husband was left to care for all of our children without help from me. This meant he was in charge of making sure all 5 kids ate meals, got to sports camp, had bathes, brushed teeth etc. He couldn’t even sleep in our bed because the slightest movement he would make had me screaming out in pain. His Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday were spent the same way. Although I was up by Tuesday, I was still in severe pain, on pain medication and steroids which prohibited me from doing very much. Wednesday evening, he and I had a pretty big argument. Tension surrounded our home. Even though it was hard, every night, before he went to sleep on our floor, he knelt beside me and prayed.

What does this have to do with spiritual warfare? On Thursday, my incredibly reserved husband was set to give his heart wrenching testimony at a church block party to a crowd of over 200 people. It is my belief that Satan used me to try to attack him. Make him over tired, worn out, exhausted, possibly even angry after sleeping on the bedroom floor for four nights. He already was arguing with God (and with me) about sharing his life with these strangers, wrestling over his testimony’s legitimacy, calling his sister to confirm certain events truths, even questioning his own motives in sharing. Convinced he absolutely could not stand in front of this crowd, he decided he was not going. I simply said “Okay, Jonah! Enjoy the belly of the whale!” But then I prayed and I had my prayer warrior friends on the task, too.

    

This is a perfect example of the “wiles of the devil.” I firmly believe that Satan knew how many hearts my husband’s story would touch and souls that were going to be turned from him and to the Kingdom of God. Satan will use whatever is closest to us to blindly attack our faith. My husband began to believe the lies he was being fed that he was a ‘nobody’, that no one would listen, that he was against God by seeking self-gratification, that he simply could not do it, and that God would never really use him. Glad he decided to put Satan under his feet, by the power and blood of Jesus Christ!

This is also a perfect illustration for the power of prayer! “Evangelism is often a battle fought on our knees.”  Lesson well learned, as he spent those nights kneeling by the bed.

We know there were some saved that night but we have no idea how many seeds were planted or watered. That is up to the Holy Spirit. The big thing is that he was obedient to Christ and not to Satan!

Romans 8:37 "No, in all these things we are more than conquerors, through Him who loved us.”

So, I've been praying for guidance with my 11 year old son who apparently, unbeknownst to us, is now 23!

This report period he brings home 3 B's, 2 C's, & 2 D's. Momma not so happy! He graduated with honors last year.

Hebrews 12:7 "Endure trials for the sake of discipline."
(But I don't wanna', Lord...Do I have to?)

12:5-6 "My child, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, or lose heart when you are punished by him; for the Lord disciples those whom he loves,"
(Sound familiar? How many of us say this to our OWN kids? Raise your hand!! GUILTY!)

and back to the end of 12:7 "God is treating you as children;"

So, I'm sitting here, thinking...WOW! As angry and frustrated with Makiah's as I get with his recent behavior...with his grades...with the attitudes...I realize THAT is how I have and sometimes still DO behave towards our Heavenly Father!

How irritated he must be with me at times, when he says "ANG, YOU REALLY SHOULD THINK ABOUT GOING THIS WAY..." Yet instead, I go a different route b/c I know better than He. I'm a grown up, I can make my own decisions...Ha! Big joke!

Rely on HIM! Seek NOT your own understanding!!!

Do You Ever Feel Like...me?

Some days are good. Some days are better than others. Some days are like my today...and yesterdays! Some days I feel like I'm on my knees vacuuming with a shop vac that has no attachments and my two-year-old is on my back as if I'm a tiny Shetland pony!
Voice of experience? Yes!

Ever feel like you can't get a leg up? Keep a penny...just a penny...in the bank? Go a day without feeling underappreciated, way underpaid, unloved, useless and just down right in the dumps? Like NOTHING works in your favor? Not even your own offspring! Ever felt like you’re wearing 400 extra pounds of weight on the inside?

During the last month, we have had our water cut off, the 4 of us have bathed at the Y, dodged several threatening creditor calls, had to take out payday loans, prayed the car would not be repossessed, that the lights would still be on when we got home and that we would have gas to get the kids to school AND us to work the next day. We’ve had to miss church because we have to drive two vehicles and don’t have the money for both tanks! It’s been trying!

Has anyone been confronted - Face To Face - Chin To Chin - Nose To Nose - Eyeball To Eyeball with Satan himself and smelled his stinking breath? I feel like the past few days, maybe even weeks, I can honestly say I feel as though I have!

He has tried his best to put a divide in my family by using our finances, our children, even lack of food in the cupboards and our marriage. He has tried to bring me down by making me feel like a horrible parent and an even worse wife! He has tried to put that seed of doubt in my mind! He has put obstacles in both my husband's and my path to righteousness! He has done his best to throw our temptations so they smack us in the face!

I am woman enough to admit, I questioned God! I asked him: Lord, how could you allow this to happen? Why? How much more do you think I can take? I am trying to keep faith but Oh Lord, Deliver Me and my family!

As I write this, I went on a tangent and checked my “verse of the day” that is delivered to my Google front page when I log in. This is what it read (I PROMISE THIS IS REALLY THE VERSE LISTED FOR TODAY 9/23/08...biblegateway.com):

“Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.”- Romans 5:3-4

Okay, Lord...'Nuff Said!!!

Isaiah 43:18-19

The verse of the morning on Spirit FM was our favorite: Isaiah 43:18-19

Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.

See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.

When I heard that reminder, I said to myself "Yesterday was our past...even though I'm angry at the judgements and the words said, it's in the past...Today is a new start...Thank you, Jesus!"

Point is, HE allowed us a NEW DAY so that He can do NEW things with us...we are to take our yesterdays as lessons so that we don't make the same mistake twice! Satan will always try to put a divide between us and if we are weak in our relationship, he will succeed!

"He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver."

Angie, at work, sent this to me...day after payday and I am broke! Down on my luck, two months behind in rent, empty fridge, tons of bills, I could go on but won't. Thank you my Dear LORD for remembering ME by sending the right words at the right time (yet AGAIN)! "Amazing how that works, hu?" as Ang said...Yeah, it is!

Malachi 3:3 -
"He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver."

This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God. One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study.

That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining Silver.

As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.

The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says: "He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver." She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there.

The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?"

He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's easy -- when I see my image in it."

So, if today you are feeling the heat of the fire, remember that you are in God's hand; He has His eye on you; He will not let you be destroyed; and He will keep holding you and watching you until He sees His image in you.

"Pump Up" My Spirit

Today I went with my daughters on their daycare field trip to Pump It Up. WOW, what fun! There were 3 classrooms of kids ages ranging from 2-5 running around the entire place like tiny chickens, or baby goats (aka KIDS) who get so excited they can do nothing else but jump straight up and kick sideways. All the teachers were sweaty from running and jumping and climbing with the kids. I'll admit, I was a little sweaty too. Okay, I was drenched!

After these past few days, I can say that I really needed the break. Even amongst 60 screaming crazy kids, my soul walked away refreshed! These are the times the girls will remember. My son will remember the trip to the apple orchard when he was 7. And it's this time that I must remember that despite the fact we have stressful days at work, bills are stacked up on the counter, the phone won't stop ringing, and I just scoured the bottom of the pan with the rice in it because I was flipping the chicken so that it wouldn't burn, our children look to us for our unconditional love and support. They don't know that every bill collector is harassing us, they are oblivious to the 3 disconnect notices hidden in the piles of bills, who knew milk is almost $5 and Mom & Dad have to work at least an hour just to pay for two gallons so they can have their favorite cereal in the morning, or that just for us to go to the pool cost $30 (there are six of us)? They don't know about car payments or insurance or medical bills or the ridiculous increase in the cost of gas, or the lack of a raise! And the thing is, they aren't supposed too. They aren't supposed to know that spaghetti (again) for supper is because it's an expensive healthy meal.

So Lord, why did you choose ME to be a parent of two and then suddenly four? My husband says children are my calling. I confess to him I get easily frustrated and angered by our children, but not by others. And who am I to be deserving enough for the Lord to send me to another country, another land, a land so great and wonderful as Africa if I cannot tame my emotions with my own four children?

Ah, Oh LORD, I get it!!! This is my trial period! This is my obstacle course, my training! Make Disciples of the FOUR you have so that they may serve the LORD. "Suffer" so that you know how others are suffering. Eat the same meal more than once a week so that you learn that there are others who have just a bowl of rice night after night, or worse, a bowl that is empty!

This is the sludging part, the rainbow is coming! Thank you Dear LORD for the lesson! I will take it in stride and learn from my every step, just as You have asked I do! I continue the prayer for patience, for undying love, just as You are showing me, for Your forgiveness when I forget it's not all about ME and for "rest"!

Everyday we make a memory with our babies. A Polaroid or Snapshot of the day. It is up to us to make it a good memory! What will the caption read at the bottom of your Snapshot at the end of your day?

My soul was fed today! I kept praying for "rest"...and believe it or not, I got it at a giant inflatable jungle gym!

Thank You Jesus!

Surrendering It ALL

The Lord calls us to honor our father and mother! He was so serious, he included that in the 10 Commandments! Number 5, to be exact! He also calls us to forgive! Guess that goes double when it comes to your parents! After much prayer, thought and just "resting", okay, and maybe an hour & half nap after work, I've decided to stop fighting and start SURRENDERING!
So, from today forth, I shall:


Close My Eyes
Close My Ears
And Listen With My Heart

Hear Him Speak Into Me
The Words Hes Given

He Says To Me
To Surrender All The Pain
I'm Feeling
But
Don't Run Away
Don't Run Away

I'm Here For You
With All My Love
Arms Opened Up

Don't Run Away
Don't Run Away

Today I need REST!

So, today, I wake up! Thank you Jesus!
I continue on, bathing and dressing and so on...put ponytails in the three girls hair, request the oldest brush his hair AGAIN, make sure I have everything packed, grab a change of clothes for the youngest, look for my lunch (Oh, there it is, My husband put it by the door for me...Great!), make sure the kids have matching shoes on...and they fit...(believe it or not, all three girls will try to the leave the house in either shoes that are too small, too big or are different colors) and usher everyone out the door. Then proceed to drop everyone off at their appropriate designations. Now, what I'm not flavoring the story with is the amount of chaos that is going on in the background, the children screaming, the snotty noses, the dog scratching a hole in the door, the arguments between the children about what they were going to do when they got home, the WHAT'S FOR DINNER MOM, the pile of towels that are STILL waiting to be folded on the sofa, fighting of who gets in the car first, and so on...this is every mother of 4 kids, right? Am I feeling sorry for myself?
Then I get to work after spending 30 minutes with the 3 year old in her new class room, with her new teacher and new friends and new surrounding, more snotting, more crying, and there are 3, not 1, not 2 but 3 emails from my mother...All having to do with, yet another illness! AAAAAHHHH!
So, I try to make the best of TODAY...It's beautiful outside, The sun's shining, the birds are happy and there are gentlemen walking to work with a spring in their step! I decide to take a quick break right before lunch, run across the street to the bank, simply to deposit money. No big deal. Well, that's what I thought anyway. How could I be wrong? How could a deposit go wrong? Oh, I see, being NEGATIVE over $200 COULD have something to do with it! AND IT DID! WOW!!! REALLY??? How much are JUST fees? So I am officially convinced that the tellers at my bank will personally thank me for providing them with their bonuses this year! I will await the Christmas card that I KNOW will come with all of their signatures purposefully placed inside. I fight the tears! Nothing can be done to help me replace the fees. I fight the tears! Finally, back at work, my husband calls to check on my day! He immediately knew something was wrong! I cry! So much so I had to hang up with him. Then, my friend and co-worker sends me this: Matthew 11:28-30

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

I really needed that! (Thanks Ang!) Of course I cried a little more...

I REALLY am in need of REST! *sigh*

I know and believe that through our trials, we will see rainbows! It's just sludging through it all to get there!

Thank You LORD for holding my hand. Thank YOU for providing my friends the exact words I need to hear! Hold me in Your Strong Arms! Help me to walk in Your ways, to not be bitter (at the bank people because it probably was my fault), to be patient, to be loving no matter what, to be understanding (that my children are just that...children), to serve YOU as you have commanded me to do!